March Gets Maddening

March Madness plumbed new depths of desperation last Friday night as Delmarva Christian High School kicked off its annual Legacy Classic fund-raising effort with a pair of basketball games that featured shots and hacks, steals and payoffs perhaps never before attempted in the annals of hoopdom.

The student body beat a huffing-and-puffing band of parents in the opener, a nail-biter, 20-19, affair. A pair of free throws by Peter Campbell with 29 seconds on the clock did the trick.

Rhett Parsons, father of Mallorie, threw up a desperation 10-footer at the buzzer and was mugged by six of the 13 student players on the floor for the conclusion of the game. Jeff ‘Moose’ Mohr, the official, left the floor with greenbacks hanging from his sweat-pants pockets and palms a-drip with grease. All proceeds went to the Haiti Relief Fund.

Cheerleader Tom Catalfalmo led the boys and girls basketball teams onto the floor for the nightcap, introducing a style of kilt seen only way beyond the bounds of Edinburgh. Player of the Year, Big Mike Lapointe brought the crowd to its feet with a series of double-dunks during warm-ups, but it was Bible and history teacher Eddy Jones who had the last hurrah, with a buzzer-beating three-pointer in overtime, giving the faculty and staff the win over their charges.

The staff won 38-33, causing Mr. Jones to reflect, “I took a four-hour nap on Saturday.”

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