Ever After By Andrew Hazzard

Dedicated to the memory of Sarah Foxwell

I sat in the cold house all alone; mom had been gone for days and I was scared to death. We had once been a happy Christian family, but wrecked after the malignancy of sex and drugs. Dad and mom divorced after his affair; she was so broken that she turned back to the one thing that used to give her relief- drugs.

I came home one day after school to find mom lying on the floor. “Mom, are you ok?” I cried, but I got no response. Health teacher always said if you think something’s wrong with someone, feel their arm and their throat to look for some type of pulse. So I felt both places and found nothing. By this time, my brothers were coming in. I tell John go call 9-1-1. He called and told them what they needed to know, but they didn’t arrive for three hours, they don’t respond quickly to calls from Compton. They came, took mom and this woman came and talked to me about how it was living with mom. I knew she wanted to take my brothers and I couldn’t have us separated so I had to lie. I told her that mom worked late, but always provided and just as I was going to tell her the truth Dr. Gupta came and asked, “Would you like to see your mom” I said “Sure” only to escape the questioning.

I asked her “Do you feel better” she said “Yes, but I can’t afford to pay for this.”

“Momma I’ll take care of your bill. I had saved some money for emergency and it wouldn’t hurt to use it.” She smiled and kissed me, “That’s my girl,” and for that one moment I knew that mom still loved me. She checked out that Saturday night, came home, and asked me to take John and Paul to the room and have them ready for church in the morning. Although at times it was long, I always felt refreshed after leaving our church. And that moment I thought for sure that mom was on the right track.

The next day we went to church, and the most amazing thing happened. Mom saw my dad’s new wife and did nothing. She always told me what she would do if she ever saw that “thing,” but for some reason all she did was smile and go into the sanctuary. We came in just in time for the sermon and afterwards, mom went to the altar and the most amazing feeling came over me. I think I felt that peace that the preacher was talking about.

So we went home only to view an eviction notice on the door it said “3-days.” I couldn’t believe that God would allow this to happen after that great service.  As much as I wanted to think that things would get better from here, I had a slight feeling that they wouldn’t. Mom sat in bed for two days to get rest, but on the third day she got up and left. I refused to believe that she went back to drugs, but I just couldn’t believe she abandoned us again.

The landlord came to the home saying “Somebody in this house is gonna pay this rent,” and as soon as I saw him staggering towards my brothers, I knew I had to volunteer myself. Never thinking what the payment that he wanted would cost, I followed the landlord to his home. I began to shake in a mixture of fear of him and anger towards mom. He asked “Could you follow me into my basement?” I, being so naïve and young, said, “Yes.” It was dark and gloomy down there, and I was met by a man with a black mask. They put my hands and feet in cuffs around the pole in the basement.

For the next two nights I yelled cried and prayed, but felt no one could hear me, not even God. I was no stranger to missing meals, so I survived both nights but still suffered enormous hunger pains. He came down and brought me some food early on the second day’s morning. He spat in my food, but I was very hungry so I ate it anyway.

The next day he took me outside the house, around back, he said he loved me. I couldn’t yet understand the concept of love because it seemed that everywhere love was, abuse seemed to follow.  I told him I hated him and tried to kick him but he was stronger than me he pushed me into a tree and tied me there he said he’d come and get me in the morning. So I sat there that night alone, tired and depressed.

As the night grew darker, the temperature decreased. I began to shiver and something told me to give up on life, but I couldn’t so I prayed “Lord Jesus grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. In Jesus name Amen.”

I began to shiver and couldn’t stay awake. I tried hard to fight the rest that tried to come over me but it was too hard; I fell asleep. And although the reasonable happiness in this life never came, I lived happily ever after in the next…